Building a Godly Marriage
The Covenant Relationship
It is important for us to understand the Covenant relationship and how important God thinks a Covenant is, for us to understand how important it is to incorporate Godly principles in building, rebuilding or maintaining our marriages.
The term Covenant means an agreement between two people, either equals or one person who is superior and another who is inferior. Our Covenant with God is the latter. God is always superior to us and always will be. A covenant is a legal contract between two people and in the worldly sense will have a beginning date and an ending date.
Biblical covenants are eternal, no ending date, worldly covenants generally involve a specific promise or agreement involving one aspect of a person’s life. Biblical covenants encompass the entire person as a whole. When God made his Covenant, He gave everything, His Son Jesus and he expects all from us, our total conversion and commitment.
Marriage is a legal and spiritual agreement or Covenant between a man and woman in the sight of God. God takes this Covenant between husband and wife seriously and so must we. Marriage is a divine institution, ordained by God, developed by God for us His children.
It is a divine covenant, not to be taken lightly, or entered into frivolously.
It is the divine union of a man and women for the purpose of companionship, to meet both the physical and emotional needs of God's creation, for support both physical, mental but most of all spiritual. It is a shadow of Jesus' relationship with us, the Church, and we need to understand just as that Covenant cannot be broken, so neither should the marriage Covenant.
Genesis 2: 20-25: 20. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. 21. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23. And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.'' 24. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Matthew 19:4-6: 4. And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning `made them male and female,' 5. "and said, `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? 6. "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.
- King James : Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
In today’s society we do not take this seriously. We either don’t think it is important to make the commitment to marriage at all or we believe that we can try it out and if doesn’t work, well so what and get a divorce. (Ex. Heather at work)
Marriage takes a commitment by both the man and the woman. They must both commit to building a godly marriage, and to stay together no matter what.
Now this is not to say there may not arise circumstances in which this commitment cannot be broken. I think in cases of abuse, of spouse or child either physical, verbal, emotional or sexual, God does not expect you to stay in that situation.
We will get into why this should not occur later in our discussion.
When you stand before a preacher and say your wedding vows, you are not only making a promise to each other to do as Genesis directs, to leave and cleave to each other, you are also making a promise to God, that you will leave your family and cleave to your spouse. That you will start a new life together, building on Godly foundation to form a marriage that will be solid, secure and give glory to God. Everything we do, should glorify God. Everything!.
In Old Testament times, love did not enter into marriage. Most marriages were arranged, some from birth and love followed the marriage. This is one of the definitions of cleaving, to pursue or chase after. After you are married you are to pursue each other for love, to chase after a godly marriage and to stick together like glue, as love and stability grow.
Woman was created for man, to be a helper comparable to him. That is someone who is different physically, but just as important is God's eyes.
Genesis 2:18-25 (Amplified Bible)
18: Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
This same Hebrew Word for helper is used to describe God's relationship with Israel in Psalms.
Psalms 33:20:
- Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.
Psalms 70:5:
- But I am poor and needy; Make haste to me, O God! You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay.
We were created to be a companion and helper to man. We were not created out of the dust as everything else, but out of man's side, God created man, male and female.
We each have a role and part to play in God's plan. Women are able to be leaders, in the setting God provides for them, when He calls them to those roles. We are never to put ourselves in a place without the divine leadership of God, the Father. We are not the head or the priest of the family, but we are a very important component of the family unit. We are the other half, it takes both male and female to procreate and this is directly in line with God's Word.
Women are called to be wives, mothers and nurturers, to teach and guide, to support and love. We are called to do whatever the Lord leads us to do and if we are in a marriage relationship, there are very specific things God has outlined for us to do in this role.
The first step to establishing a Godly marriage is to have the correct priorities.
If you do not have your priorities right, you will not have a successful marriage.
The first step is Your relationship with God.
We cannot have any successful relationship of any kind if our relationship with God is not right.
A close relationship with God is Key to every other aspect of our lives.
Matthew 6:33:"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Your first and most important priority is an intimate, personal relationship with God and the Lord Jesus Christ.
You must know Jesus as your personal Savior.
Romans 10:9-10: 9. that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10. For with the heart one believes to righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made to salvation.
- You must plan to grow up spiritually, to become a spiritual adult not remain a spiritual child all your life.
1 Peter 2:2: as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby,
2 Peter 3:18: but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.
It is clearly a definite command of God that we grow up, learn the deeper things of the Word and let them flow out of our lives.
You must do two things to accomplish this.
- Read and study God's Word and
- Obey His Word.
Learn and obey. Two very simple statements but difficult to do many time. It is my prayer that as we go through this series each of us will grow in knowledge and learn ways to perform faithfully, put into practice the things the Lord is showing us.